How Does EMDR Work for LGBTQ Trauma Survivors in NYC?

Trauma can significantly impact our lives, especially for LGBTQ adults. LGBTQ and EMDR Therapy in NYC can help!

Photo created with the help of AI on 10/19/24

Updated on April 14, 2025

If you’ve ever felt like your trauma doesn’t quite fit into neat boxes—or like therapy has required you to explain too much to someone who doesn’t get your life—you’re not alone. I’m Eric M. Hovis, a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in EMDR Therapy NYC and LGBTQ Therapy NYC. I work with queer adults navigating the long tail of complex trauma, often rooted in family rejection, religious shame, or social environments that demanded they shrink to survive.

I know this world well—not just because I’m trained to help others through it, but because I’ve lived it too. The moment I realized that the systems I had once clung to for love and safety were actually harming me, something clicked: my attachment system was working—I was adapting to survive. That truth helped me begin to trust myself in a deeper way, including my anger. It wasn’t a problem. It was a protector. And that shift? It changed everything.

So if you're wondering how EMDR therapy actually works, or how it could help you, especially as someone who's queer and carrying trauma, let’s dig in.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a trauma therapy originally developed for PTSD. But today, it’s used to treat a wide range of trauma responses—including the kind many LGBTQ individuals carry from years of rejection, fear, and internalized shame.

Here’s what makes EMDR unique: you don’t need to relive trauma to heal from it. And you don’t have to talk endlessly about what happened, either. EMDR activates the brain’s natural ability to reprocess painful memories—similar to what your brain does during REM sleep. Through bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or sounds), your brain is guided to shift unprocessed trauma so it no longer hijacks your nervous system or sense of identity.

That means less reactivity, fewer spirals, and more space to be you.

The Weight of LGBTQ Trauma

Let’s be real: LGBTQ trauma is often not just about one big incident. It’s chronic, complex, and woven into our development.

• Family rejection for who you are

• Religious shame that teaches you your love is sinful

• Social isolation or bullying for not fitting gender or heteronormative expectations

• Systemic discrimination that reinforces you’re not safe or wanted

The result? A nervous system constantly on alert. A sense of self that’s fractured. And a survival strategy that may have worked once—but now leaves you anxious, numb, disconnected, or stuck.

And if that’s you, let me say this clearly: there is nothing wrong with you. Your body and mind were doing their best to survive in a system that taught you not to trust yourself.

Why EMDR Therapy NYC Is Different With Me

Let’s be honest: there are a lot of therapists out there offering EMDR Therapy NYC. But what sets my approach apart is the way I integrate EMDR with other experiential methods to help you get to the root of the issue—fast. We’re not just reducing symptoms—we’re rewriting the old rules you inherited about who you’re allowed to be.

Because I’ve been in those systems too. I know what it’s like to twist yourself into a version that others find acceptable. And I know the courage it takes to say: I want to heal, and I want to feel like myself.

EMDR with me is about:

• Building trust without judgment

• Honoring the real reasons you feel stuck

• Processing the deeper emotional truth beneath the memory

• Helping you shift fast, without getting lost in the weeds

What Happens During EMDR?

EMDR therapy follows an eight-phase protocol, but here’s a simplified version of what it looks like in practice:

1. History and Preparation We get clear on what’s bothering you, but also help you build emotional regulation tools (like grounding, breathing, and visualization) to stay steady during deeper work.

2. Targeting and Assessment We identify a memory or situation that holds emotional charge—like a moment of rejection or shame—and name the negative belief attached to it (e.g., “I’m not lovable”).

3. Desensitization with Bilateral Stimulation As you recall the memory, we use back-and-forth movements (eye movements, tapping) to help your brain reprocess the event. Over time, the emotional intensity fades.

4. Installation and Integration We reinforce new, more adaptive beliefs—like “I deserve love” or “I can trust myself”—and explore how to integrate these shifts into your daily life.

The process can feel intense at times, but not overwhelming. And the change? Often profound.

A Real-Life Shift: One Client’s Breakthrough

You'll learn skills to help you better regulate your emotions in EMDR Therapy in NYC

One queer client came to me carrying intense shame and confusion around an abusive parent who had rejected him for his identity. Talking about it felt impossible—his body would shut down. So we turned to EMDR.

Session by session, we worked with early memories of mistreatment, not to relive them, but to reprocess them safely. And one day, a shift happened. He said, “I didn’t cause this.” That belief—that he had somehow deserved the abuse—broke open. In its place came anger, grief, and eventually, a fierce protectiveness of his younger self.

By the end of our work together, he wasn’t just functioning better—he had reclaimed himself. And that’s the power of EMDR.

Common Questions About EMDR for LGBTQ Folks

Will I have to talk about everything that happened to me? No. EMDR doesn’t require full retelling. We work with what your brain and body are ready to process, and I guide you gently through it.

What if I’ve already done talk therapy and it didn’t help? That’s common. EMDR is different—it works on the level of implicit memory and nervous system responses, not just thoughts or insight.

How long does it take to feel better? Many clients notice meaningful shifts within a few sessions. It’s not a magic wand, but it’s often faster and deeper than traditional therapy.

Will you understand my experience as a queer person? Yes. Not only am I clinically trained, I’ve lived it. My practice is LGBTQ-affirming, trauma-informed, and free of judgment or assumptions.

EMDR Therapy in NYC: Healing in the Middle of the Chaos

Living in NYC is both energizing and exhausting. As a queer person, you might feel the pull to succeed, stay guarded, or always be “on.” That stress adds layers to trauma—and EMDR can help unravel them.

We’ll work on:

• Reducing anxiety and overwhelm in crowded or triggering environments

• Reclaiming your space and boundaries in dating, family, and work

• Building trust in your own internal compass again

And the best part? You don’t have to stay stuck. Change is absolutely possible.

Our aim is your healing so that you can move forward in your life in NYC

You Deserve Healing That Honors Who You Are

EMDR Therapy NYC can help you shed the weight of trauma—not by forcing you to relive the pain, but by helping you reclaim yourself from it. If you’ve been searching for LGBTQ Therapy NYC that actually speaks to your experience, you’ve found it.

You don’t need to explain yourself here. You don’t need to justify your pain. You’re already enough.

Ready to Start? Let’s Talk.

If this blog resonates with you—if you’re tired of carrying shame, of hiding parts of yourself, of spinning in anxiety or self-doubt—I invite you to reach out.

✨ Schedule a free consultation to learn how EMDR could help you reconnect, reprocess, and reclaim. You deserve therapy that sees all of you—and helps you live like that’s true.

You don’t have to keep surviving alone. Let’s do this healing work—together.

Eric M. Hovis, LMHC, LPC | EMDR Therapy NYC | LGBTQ Therapy NYC