How to Use Bilateral Stimulation to Calm Your Nervous System

Photo by De'Andre Bush, downloaded from Unsplash on 9/29/24

Ever feel like your body just can’t shake that feeling of being on edge? Like your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, even when you try to relax? Or do you start to feel your mind and body shutting down when you’re overwhelmed? These are common experiences for many, especially those dealing with anxiety or trauma. In EMDR Therapy in NYC, and as a licensed mental health counselor specializing in trauma informed therapy for LGBTQ clients, I use a technique called Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) to help shift emotional states and calm the nervous system. When paired with other calming strategies, BLS can be a powerful way to find relief from stress, anxiety, and trauma responses. If you would like to learn more about how I use BLS in EMDR therapy, I wrote a resource post for those interested.

What is Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)?

Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a therapeutic technique that uses alternating left-right movements or stimuli—like tapping, eye movements, or sounds—to engage both hemispheres of the brain. This engagement helps the brain to process and integrate emotional experiences more effectively. In EMDR Therapy, BLS is often used to help desensitize and reprocess traumatic memories, allowing clients to move through stuck points in their healing journey.

However, BLS isn’t just limited to processing trauma memories. It’s also used as a resource to calm the nervous system and reinforce positive, soothing states of being. Importantly, BLS works best when combined with other grounding or visualization exercises. On its own, it might accidentally open up pathways to trauma memory, so we use it thoughtfully, always in a supportive context.

The Role of the Nervous System in Trauma and Anxiety

The body’s nervous system plays a huge role in how we experience stress, anxiety, and trauma. When faced with a perceived threat, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in—putting us in fight, flight, or freeze mode. For many people, especially those with a history of trauma or chronic stress, the nervous system can stay stuck in this heightened state, making relaxation feel nearly impossible.

In EMDR Therapy, we aim to activate the parasympathetic system—the part of the nervous system responsible for rest and relaxation. Techniques like BLS, when paired with grounding or breathing exercises, can help the body shift into a state of calm, offering a break from the relentless cycle of hypervigilance. This is especially powerful for LGBTQ+ clients who may have experienced trauma or discrimination and are seeking a way to settle their nervous systems.

How to Practice Bilateral Stimulation (BLS): Step-by-Step Techniques

Using Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) effectively means finding a method that resonates with you and feels manageable in moments of stress. Here are several techniques you can use, each providing a slightly different way to engage both sides of your body and brain. Try these options and see which one feels right for you:

1. Eye Movements Eye movements are one of the original forms of BLS used in EMDR Therapy. Here’s how you can do it on your own:

• Position Your Hand: Hold your index finger or a small object at arm’s length in front of your eyes.

• Track the Movement: Slowly move your finger or object from left to right, keeping your head still. Only your eyes should be moving, following the object back and forth.

• Find Your Pace: Move at a comfortable speed, shifting your gaze from side to side about 20-30 times, while focusing on a calming thought, such as your "Calm Place" visualization.

2. The Butterfly Hug The "Butterfly Hug" is a technique where you use your own hands to create gentle, alternating taps, which is particularly effective for self-soothing. Here’s how to do it:

• Cross Your Arms: Cross your arms over your chest, so that your fingertips rest just below your collarbones—your hands should look like butterfly wings.

• Tap Alternately: Begin tapping your left and right hands in an alternating rhythm. You can go slow or fast, whatever feels most comforting.

• Breathe and Visualize: As you tap, take deep breaths. You can close your eyes and visualize a comforting place, or just focus on the sensation of the tapping itself.

3. Knee Tapping This is a simple and discreet BLS technique you can use anywhere, even sitting in a chair or on public transportation:

• Get Comfortable: Sit with your feet flat on the floor and your hands resting on your knees.

• Alternate Taps: Use your hands to tap your knees in an alternating rhythm—left tap, right tap. You can also squeeze gently if tapping feels too stimulating.

• Ground Yourself: You can combine this with grounding techniques like noticing your breath or what you see around you, or with visualizing a calm and safe space.

4. Using Music with Headphones Music can also be used to achieve bilateral stimulation when listening with headphones. Here’s how:

• Find Bilateral Tracks: There are many audio tracks specifically designed for bilateral stimulation that alternate sound between the left and right ears. You can find these on streaming platforms like YouTube or Spotify—just search for "bilateral stimulation music."

• Listen with Purpose: Put on your headphones and close your eyes, allowing the alternating sounds to guide your attention from left to right. Pair this with deep breathing for additional relaxation.

• Time and Setting: Listen for about 5-10 minutes, ideally in a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Make sure you’re comfortable, and try focusing on a positive or calming image during the process.

Tips for Practicing BLS Techniques:

• Find Your Comfort Zone: Different BLS techniques work for different people. Experiment to see which one feels most comfortable and calming for you.

• Start Slow: Especially if you’re new to using BLS, start with short sessions (1-2 minutes) and see how it feels before extending the time.

• Pair It Wisely: Always pair BLS with another grounding exercise, visualization, or breathing practice. This combination helps anchor you in the present and reduces the risk of inadvertently triggering difficult memories.

• Listen to Your Body: If at any point you start to feel overwhelmed or notice unwanted emotions coming up, stop the practice and ground yourself by focusing on your immediate environment (notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, etc.).

These methods can be powerful additions to your toolkit for managing stress and calming your nervous system. Remember that BLS, especially when paired with other grounding exercises, can help reinforce positive states of calm and safety—but it’s always wise to consult with a certified EMDR therapist, like me, to ensure it’s being used in a safe and supportive way for your unique situation.

How to Use BLS in Combination with Other Strategies

An example of what I use as my "Calm Place"

Photo by Giammarco Boscaro, downloaded from Unsplash on 9/29/24

BLS Paired with “Calm Place” Visualization
In EMDR Therapy, we often pair BLS with visualizations like the "Calm Place." This is a guided visualization that helps clients create a mental image of a place where they feel safe, at ease, and relaxed. If you’re not familiar with this concept, check out my blog on Calm Place Visualization to learn more.

To use BLS with the "Calm Place" visualization, imagine your calm place in vivid detail—think about what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like. While holding that image in your mind, and when you start to feel your body and mind relax–ever so slightly–try gently tapping your knees or use the Butterfly Hug technique for about 6-10 passes, like 10 seconds. This alternating movement helps reinforce the soothing feelings of the visualization, creating a more embodied experience of calm that becomes easier to access in daily life.

Grounding with BLS
Grounding is all about bringing yourself back to the present moment. One way to do this is to combine BLS with a grounding exercise, like noticing your feet on the floor or holding a textured object. Try alternating between squeezing a stress ball in each hand while focusing on the sensations of the texture and weight. And go through an exercise of asking yourself what time is it right now, where are you right now from the room, the building, the street, the neighborhood, the city, etc. This pairing helps redirect your attention from emotional overwhelm back into the here and now, making it easier to regulate when stress kicks in.

Breathing and BLS
Another effective combination is deep breathing with BLS. For example, try 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, exhale for 8 counts), notice how your body relaxes, ever so slightly, and then gently tapping your shoulders or knees. The deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, and the BLS anchors that calming effect, helping to quiet both body and mind more deeply.

When (and When Not) to Use BLS for Calming the Nervous System

Safe Uses
BLS can be a useful addition to your self-care routine, particularly during moments of heightened stress or anxiety. When paired with grounding exercises, breathing, or visualizations, BLS can help reinforce feelings of safety and calm. It’s particularly effective during or after therapy sessions when you’re working on building internal resources like the "Calm Place." The important thing to remember is using a technique like Grounding or Calm Place to tip your body toward relaxing, and THEN strengthening that felt sense with BLS.

Use with Caution
However, using BLS on its own—without grounding or a visualization—carries the risk of inadvertently triggering traumatic memories, especially for those with unresolved trauma. Always remember that BLS is a powerful tool and should be used in the right context. Working with a trained therapist, particularly as part of EMDR Therapy in NYC, ensures that you’re using BLS safely and effectively.

How BLS Helps Strengthen Emotional Resilience in EMDR Therapy in NYC

Building Resilience
Regularly using BLS, especially in combination with grounding or calming techniques, helps build emotional resilience over time. Every time you use BLS to calm your system, you’re reinforcing a new, more adaptive response to stress, which over time becomes easier and more automatic.

Neuroplasticity
BLS helps the brain create new, more adaptive neural pathways—this process is called neuroplasticity. When you reinforce positive states, like the feelings from a "Calm Place" visualization, you’re essentially helping your brain learn a new way of responding to stress. This is part of why EMDR Therapy, which incorporates BLS, can be so effective in transforming how we experience and react to past trauma.

Real-Life Application
I’ve seen many clients in my EMDR Therapy practice in NYC use BLS successfully in their daily lives. Whether it’s during a tense social interaction or when they’re feeling overwhelmed at work, using BLS helps them shift from a heightened state to a more grounded one. The more they practice, the stronger and more accessible this skill becomes.

Practical Tips for Practicing BLS at Home

Basic Setup
You don’t need any fancy equipment to practice BLS at home. Try tapping your knees, squeezing your hands, or even using an app that plays bilateral sounds (alternating tones in each ear). The key is to create an alternating rhythm that engages both sides of the body.

Incorporating Into Daily Life
Consider adding BLS to your self-care routine—combine it with grounding exercises or deep breathing at the start or end of your day. Practicing these techniques in calm moments makes them more accessible when stress arises, and over time, helps you build a sense of resilience.

Professional Support
While BLS can be practiced at home, remember that working with a therapist trained in EMDR Therapy in NYC is crucial for ensuring you’re using BLS correctly. A trained therapist can guide you in using these techniques in a way that’s both safe and effective, especially if you’re working through trauma.

Conclusion

Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system and shifting emotional states—but it’s most effective when used in combination with other techniques like grounding, breathing, or visualization. BLS can help you create new, more adaptive ways of responding to stress, but it’s important to use it thoughtfully and in the right context.

If you’re interested in learning more about using BLS as part of your anxiety or trauma management toolkit, EMDR Therapy in NYC offers a safe, supportive space to explore these skills. Together, we can work on building your emotional resilience and navigating your healing journey with professional guidance. Reach out today to start this journey—you don’t have to do it alone.

Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call to discuss how we can work together to build the resilience you need to thrive. Let's embark on a path toward greater self-respect, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of community together.

My specialties include LGBTQ+ Therapy NYC, EMDR Therapy NYC, Religious Trauma.