How to Use Bilateral Stimulation to Calm Your Nervous System
A form of Bilateral Stimulation, or BLS, is called a Butterfly Hug, and looks sort of like this, although does always look as glamorous…although who’s to stop you. I can teach you all you need to know in a type of therapy called EMDR.
Photo by De'Andre Bush, downloaded from Unsplash on 9/29/24
Updated February 26, 2025
At-a-Glance: How Bilateral Stimulation Can Help You
Feeling on edge? Your nervous system may be in overdrive.
Struggling to relax? Anxiety and trauma can keep you stuck.
Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a technique that helps regulate emotional states and calm your nervous system.
Ever feel like your body just can’t shake that feeling of being on edge? Like your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, even when you try to relax? Or do you start to feel your mind and body shutting down when you’re overwhelmed?
These are common experiences for many, especially those dealing with anxiety or trauma. As a licensed mental health counselor specializing in trauma-informed therapy for LGBTQ+ clients in NYC, I use a technique called Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) in a evidenced-based treatment called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing to treat trauma to help shift emotional states and calm the nervous system. When paired with other calming strategies, BLS can be a powerful way to find relief from stress, anxiety, and trauma responses. If you’d like to learn more about how I use BLS in EMDR Therapy in NYC, this guide will walk you through it.
What Is Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)?
Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a therapeutic technique that uses alternating left-right movements or stimuli—like tapping, eye movements, or sounds—to engage both hemispheres of the brain. This engagement helps the brain process and integrate emotional experiences more effectively.
In EMDR Therapy, BLS is often used to help desensitize and reprocess traumatic memories, allowing clients to move through stuck points in their healing journey. However, BLS isn’t just for trauma—it’s also a powerful tool for self-regulation, helping calm the nervous system and reinforce positive emotional states.
⚠ Important: While BLS can be grounding, using it without proper guidance might open up pathways to trauma memories. That’s why it’s essential to pair it with other stabilizing techniques and use it in a supportive context. If you have a history of trauma or dissociation, BLS should be practiced under the guidance of a licensed psychotherapist to ensure it is used safely and effectively. This information is for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health care.
How Your Nervous System Affects Anxiety and Trauma
When our nervous system is stuck in overdrive or dissociation, we are not fully accessing our Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) system—the brain’s natural ability to make sense of experiences in a clear, adaptive way. Instead, we react from a place of survival, not insight. This is where Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) helps—by engaging both hemispheres of the brain, BLS can help re-engage the AIP system, allowing you to process emotions, regulate responses, and think more clearly about what’s happening both internally and externally.
Your nervous system plays a major role in how you experience stress, anxiety, and trauma. When faced with a perceived threat, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in—putting you in fight, flight, or freeze mode. For those with chronic stress or past trauma, the nervous system can stay stuck in overdrive, making relaxation feel impossible.
The solution? Activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls rest and relaxation. Techniques like BLS—especially when paired with grounding exercises—can help shift your body into a calmer state, offering relief from hypervigilance and stress. This is especially important for LGBTQ+ individuals who have experienced discrimination or trauma and need effective strategies to regulate their nervous systems.
Recognizing the Signs: Is Your Stress More Than Just Everyday Anxiety?
If you find yourself frequently feeling stuck in overdrive or numbed out, your body might be responding to unprocessed trauma. While Bilateral Stimulation can be a helpful tool, deeper healing often requires working with a trauma-informed therapist. If you're wondering whether therapy could help, I offer specialized EMDR therapy for LGBTQ+ clients navigating trauma and stress.
➡️ Schedule a free consultation here to explore your next steps.
How to Practice Bilateral Stimulation (BLS): Step-by-Step Techniques
Using BLS effectively means finding a method that resonates with you. Below are four techniques you can try:
1. Eye Movements
✅ How to Do It:
Hold your index finger or a small object at arm’s length in front of your eyes.
Slowly move it side to side, keeping your head still and following it only with your eyes.
Focus on a calming thought as you do this. Repeat 20-30 times.
🎯 Best for: Visual learners, those who respond well to EMDR.
2. The Butterfly Hug
✅ How to Do It:
Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones (like butterfly wings).
Tap alternating hands in a slow, steady rhythm.
Breathe deeply and visualize a safe, calming place.
🎯 Best for: Self-soothing, grounding during emotional distress.
3. Knee Tapping
✅ How to Do It:
Sit comfortably with your feet on the floor.
Use your hands to tap your knees alternately in a left-right rhythm.
Pair this with slow breathing or noticing your surroundings.
🎯 Best for: Discreet use in public settings, grounding in daily life.
Remember to pair BLS with grounding or other calming techniques for best results…even better with a view.
Photo by Reynier Carl; uploaded from Unsplash on 2/26/2025
4. Using Music with Headphones
✅ How to Do It:
Listen to bilateral stimulation music (found on YouTube or Spotify).
Use headphones and focus on the alternating left-right sounds.
Close your eyes, relax, and let your mind follow the sounds.
🎯 Best for: Auditory learners, calming down before sleep.
Tips for Practicing BLS Safely
✔ Find Your Comfort Zone: Not every technique works for everyone. Experiment to see what feels best for you.
✔ Start Slow: Begin with 1-2 minutes, then gradually extend your practice.
✔ Pair It Wisely: Always use BLS alongside grounding or breathing exercises or my favorite, “Calm Place”.
✔ Listen to Your Body: If BLS brings up distressing emotions, pause and ground yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (notice 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.).
An example of what I use as my "Calm Place"
Photo by Giammarco Boscaro, downloaded from Unsplash on 9/29/24
Bringing It All Together: Using BLS in Therapy
BLS can be a powerful self-regulation tool, but it’s even more effective when integrated into therapy. In EMDR Therapy in NYC, we use BLS to process trauma, build emotional resilience, and reinforce calm, positive states.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, trauma, or feeling stuck, let’s work together. I specialize in trauma-informed, LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy and help clients use techniques like BLS to regain a sense of control and ease.
📞 Ready to explore EMDR therapy? Schedule a free consultation to see how we can work together.
Want more resources? Check out:
By practicing Bilateral Stimulation in a safe and structured way, you can support your mind and body in moving toward greater calm, resilience, and well-being.
BLS can be a powerful self-regulation tool, but it’s even more effective when integrated into therapy. In EMDR Therapy in NYC, we use BLS to process trauma, build emotional resilience, and reinforce calm, positive states.
