Deep Dive into Obsessive Looping and Cognitive Rigidity: EMDR Therapy NYC for Healing Religious Trauma
Welcome to the next installment in my series on healing "stuckness" caused by religious trauma. If you haven't read the previous posts on how perfectionism and black-and-white thinking are shaped by religious teachings and how EMDR can help, I encourage you to check them out. It’s important to know that these posts build on each other, and the ideas we explore here will deepen as we continue together in this journey. Each post in this series builds on the previous one, providing a comprehensive understanding of the various ways religious trauma can affect us and how EMDR Therapy in NYC is uniquely positioned to support your healing journey, offering tools to reprocess deeply embedded beliefs and foster lasting change. In this third deep dive, we will explore another common manifestation of religious trauma—obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity—and how EMDR can help loosen these mental cycles, leading to more adaptive thinking and greater freedom.
What Is Obsessive Looping and Cognitive Rigidity?
Photo by Tine Ivanič; uploaded from Unsplash on 1/14/2025.
Obsessive looping, also known as cognitive looping, is a repetitive cycle of thoughts where the mind becomes "stuck" on particular ideas, fears, or worries, and struggles to let go. This type of thought pattern can be exhausting, trapping you in a cycle of constant rumination. It’s understandable if this feels overwhelming—many of us, myself included, have experienced this sense of being caught in an endless loop of mental analysis, and it can feel inescapable. Constant rumination is but one behavior (that we'll focus on in this post), but the obsessive process can also connect to repetitive behaviors, rituals, and other actions that serve to undo the anxiety that the obsessive process is perpetuating. Cognitive rigidity, on the other hand, refers to an inability to adapt one's thinking to new information or to consider alternative viewpoints. Together, these patterns create a mental environment where thoughts are inflexible and often highly critical.
In religious contexts, obsessive looping often takes the form of excessive worry over moral purity or a constant need to evaluate whether one's actions are "good enough." For many who have experienced religious trauma, the fear of eternal consequences—such as sin, hell, or divine punishment—creates an intense mental cycle where thoughts are continuously analyzed, questioned, and reviewed in an attempt to find certainty and avoid perceived moral failure. Another serious consequence that is often feared is being rejected by or exiled from the religious community or family system, further reinforcing the need to conform and control thoughts and behaviors.
Consider teachings like "taking every thought captive," which imply that even your thoughts must meet certain moral standards. These teachings can have a positive intention to help people manage anxiety by refocusing on the positive, seeing the divine and the community as resources or help, and claiming affirmative beliefs to challenge negative or despairing beliefs. They are often meant to provide comfort by offering a clear path to overcoming fear, promoting the idea that there is always spiritual support available to help through difficult times. In this context, these teachings can serve as an anchor, a way for individuals to feel connected to something greater than themselves during times of uncertainty.
However, these well-meaning teachings can also lead to unintended consequences, such as obsessive checking and rechecking of whether one's thoughts align with what is perceived as "holy" or "right." This creates an environment where even normal, fleeting human thoughts are scrutinized and often condemned, turning natural experiences into sources of guilt and shame. Over time, this constant self-surveillance creates significant mental exhaustion, as individuals try to control every aspect of their internal world, believing that their moral worth depends on keeping their thoughts perfectly aligned with prescribed standards. Instead of finding relief and connection, individuals often find themselves feeling trapped, isolated, and unable to experience the normal range of human emotions without intense fear of moral failure.
The Roots of Obsessive Looping in Religious Trauma
Obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity often arise from environments that demand strict adherence to specific doctrines without space for ambiguity or personal interpretation. Many religious teachings promote an unwavering commitment to certain beliefs, often accompanied by the promise of rewards for compliance or punishments for disobedience. This black-and-white approach to morality can foster a fear of getting it wrong, which in turn fuels the cycle of obsessive thoughts.
For those who have experienced religious trauma, these thought loops can become even more intense when combined with messages that equate thoughts themselves with sinfulness. For example, having a "bad" or "impure" thought can be interpreted as evidence of one's spiritual failure, necessitating immediate correction or penance. I personally experienced this as a teenager when my own attractions to men started to emerge after puberty. Those thoughts and desires were immediately cast as sinful, even though I did nothing to act on them. I remember relying heavily on rituals and religious involvement, believing they were the only way to rid myself of guilt. It took me years to understand that these were coping mechanisms—and while they provided temporary comfort, they kept me from addressing the real pain underneath. I ended up obsessively committing myself to more religious involvement as a strategy to counteract the deeper feelings of guilt for my own (human) mental landscape.
Spiritual bypassing may also come into play, where individuals use religious practices as a way to suppress or deny uncomfortable thoughts or emotions rather than address them directly. This can include over-reliance on prayer, scripture, or ritual to avoid processing feelings of anger, sadness, or fear. While these practices may provide temporary relief, they often prevent individuals from truly engaging with and understanding the underlying issues, keeping them stuck in cycles of avoidance. The inability to feel any certainty regarding one’s moral status keeps the mind in a constant loop, looking for reassurance that may never come, and spiritual bypassing can make this even harder to break by masking the real emotional work that needs to happen.
Family and Community Influence on Cognitive Rigidity
Family systems and religious communities often reinforce the idea that certain thoughts or behaviors must be tightly controlled. My own parents definitively taught me that thoughts could be sinful, even if those thoughts were never acted on—what pressure! Parents might unintentionally pass down fears related to spiritual purity or worthiness, modeling their own cognitive rigidity. Children raised in these environments may learn that questioning or exploring different viewpoints is dangerous and that any deviation from prescribed beliefs is a direct threat to their standing in the family or community. I do acknowledge that not every religious tradition teaches this, but in my experience, the fear of sinful thoughts was pervasive and left little room for acceptance of one's natural human experience.
This kind of conditioning doesn't simply disappear when one leaves the religious community—it often stays deeply embedded. Even after stepping away from organized religion, many people continue to find themselves caught in obsessive thought patterns and struggle with mental rigidity. It’s not uncommon for these individuals to carry with them a sense of unworthiness or fear that any deviation from perceived norms is dangerous, further perpetuating their inability to break free from repetitive thought cycles.
Examples of Obsessive Looping in Everyday Life
Obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity can significantly impact daily life. In relationships, these thought patterns may manifest as relentless questioning: “Did I do the right thing? Should I have said that differently? Does this mean I am a bad person?” This constant re-evaluation can create stress and anxiety, making it challenging to feel secure in relationships or make decisions confidently. Cognitive rigidity may also show up as a refusal to see alternative viewpoints, resulting in conflicts that feel impossible to resolve.
For instance, one client, whom we’ll call "John," grew up in a faith community that emphasized the importance of purity—both in actions and in thoughts. Even after leaving the community, John found himself obsessively questioning his motives in nearly every decision he made, worrying whether he was still failing morally. Through our work in EMDR Therapy, John began to identify where these thought loops had originated, and we took specific steps to reprocess these formative experiences. We focused on bringing in new perspectives and dismantling the emotional charge that was attached to these memories, which gave John the freedom to start seeing his experience differently. Over time, John was able to loosen the grip of these obsessive thoughts and adopt a more flexible, compassionate perspective toward himself.
How EMDR Therapy Can Help Break the Cycle of Obsessive Looping
I believe that EMDR Therapy in NYC offers a unique and effective approach to reprocessing the memories and experiences that contribute to obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity. By revisiting these core memories that contributed to these cognitive styles, EMDR helps to desensitize the emotional charge attached to them, reducing the intense reactions they trigger. This allows the brain to reprocess these memories in a more adaptive way. During an EMDR session, we often start by identifying a specific memory that holds strong emotional weight. We use bilateral stimulation—such as eye movements or tapping—to help you stay present and balanced while reprocessing the memory, ultimately opening the space for new, healthier perspectives. During an EMDR session, we use bilateral stimulation—such as eye movements or tapping—which helps facilitate reprocessing. This opens up the opportunity for clients to see their experiences through the eyes of an adult, mature, wise Self rather than the scared, guilt-ridden child who internalized these fears. You may find yourself feeling more distance from these past experiences and recognizing them for what they were—moments that shaped you, but do not define you.
Working through these past experiences allows clients to cultivate psychological flexibility—a key component of moving away from cognitive rigidity. Instead of viewing every thought as something that needs to be controlled or fixed, clients begin to understand their thoughts as transient experiences—“just thoughts” that do not define their worth or morality. This shift helps clients listen more openly to their own inner voice, recognizing that their thoughts are not inherently right or wrong but simply reflections of their internal experience. This process helps break the cycle of obsessive thinking and opens the door to greater psychological flexibility.
For example, through EMDR, John was able to revisit the memories of being told that his thoughts were sinful. He learned to approach those moments with compassion and maturity, understanding that these teachings were not reflective of his true worth. Over time, John could see his thoughts with far more nuance, acknowledging that having difficult or uncomfortable thoughts is simply part of the human experience—not a reflection of his morality.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Breaking Cognitive Rigidity
Mindfulness can also play a crucial role in breaking the patterns of obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity. While I've mentioned mindfulness before in this series, I want to emphasize that through therapy, I help deepen your awareness—not just of the present moment, but of how you function as a person. It’s about developing a profound understanding of how your thoughts, emotions, and conditioning interact and, more importantly, how you can use this awareness to sidestep old patterns and create freer, more flexible ways of being. In mindfulness, there is both a mind component and a heart component. On the mind side, mindfulness involves practicing the ability to recognize and allow our present experience on its own terms, whatever that experience may be. On the heart side, mindfulness includes investigating and nurturing that experience with compassion. This practice is not only about awareness but also about using that awareness to sidestep old patterns and conditioning, ultimately finding freer alternatives.
Through mindfulness practice, clients learn to notice when their minds are getting stuck in repetitive loops. In the mind component, they practice allowing their experience—relaxing the rigidity that demands constant control. In the heart component, they bring nurturance to their experience, deepening their attention to ask questions like, "What am I believing here—about myself, others, or the world around me?"
In both the allowing and investigative aspects of mindfulness, clients relax their rigidity and soften the automatic obsession or rumination. This opens up the space to explore the underlying worry or fear and gently challenge outdated beliefs that perpetuate that fear. Over time, these old, rigid beliefs are replaced with more affirmative, nurturing attitudes and a compassionate way of relating to themselves and others. Rather than trying to force thoughts away or label them as good or bad, mindfulness encourages an attitude of curiosity and non-judgment. This helps clients stay present with their thoughts without feeling the pressure to fix or control them, providing a sense of relief that these thoughts don’t have to dictate their actions or emotions.
One client described how mindfulness practice allowed her to step back from her thoughts and observe them without the usual anxiety. “I realized I didn’t have to fight every thought that popped into my head,” she said. “It was a huge relief to just let them be and know they didn’t mean anything about who I am.” Mindfulness helps to cultivate this kind of openness, which is an essential antidote to the rigidity that often comes with religious trauma.
Cultivating Psychological Flexibility and Freedom
Breaking free from obsessive looping and cognitive rigidity starts with cultivating psychological flexibility—a quality that allows us to adapt and thrive in the face of uncertainty. EMDR Therapy in NYC, when coupled with mindfulness and self-compassion, helps clients develop this flexibility, making it easier to face the inevitable uncertainties of life without getting caught in repetitive, harmful thought patterns. This journey helps clients see that there are multiple ways to approach each situation and that it is okay for thoughts to be imperfect or even uncomfortable.
A key nuance of psychological flexibility, as applied to Obsessive Looping and Cognitive Rigidity, is understanding that it means being more "diffused" or not overly identified or "fused" with our thoughts and feelings. We are not our thoughts or feelings; we are the beings who are having thoughts or feelings. This distance gives us the flexibility to look at, relate to, examine, or consider our experiences. When we’re caught in an obsessive loop or are cognitively rigid, we become too identified with our thoughts, beliefs, or feelings. We are not being mindful or present to ourselves in that moment. This makes it difficult to gain perspective or approach our experiences with curiosity or to understand them in the context of our own value system.
This skill of psychological flexibility is especially important if your upbringing taught you that mental states can be inherently bad and, by extension, that you are bad for having them. It’s about creating enough distance to see that thoughts and feelings are not reflections of your worth; they are simply part of the human experience that can be acknowledged without defining who you are. Instead of cultivating an experience of, "I am a human having an internal experience that I can be aware of, get curious about, and understand in the greater context of my being," people often internalize the idea that they must reject or control their thoughts to be acceptable. Psychological flexibility gives clients the freedom to consider new perspectives, to distance themselves from their thoughts, and listen without judgment. Instead of reacting immediately, they learn to observe, creating space to move away from rigid beliefs that no longer serve them. It allows clients to start listening to their own desires and thoughts—not in a rigid right or wrong framework, but simply as they are—considering how they align with their deeper values and what they want for themselves moving forward.
This shift is not just about reducing obsessive thoughts—it’s about creating a more open, expansive relationship with oneself and the world. Clients often find that as their flexibility grows, so does their resilience. They become more capable of navigating life's challenges without falling into old cycles of fear and doubt.
For example, John began to feel more comfortable making decisions without needing to overanalyze every detail. He learned to trust himself and his intentions, recognizing that his worth wasn’t determined by adhering to impossible standards of purity or morality. This newfound psychological flexibility helped John rebuild relationships, reduce anxiety, and experience greater joy in his everyday life.
Ready to Break Free from the Cycle?
If you’re ready to start breaking free from obsessive looping and want to explore how EMDR Therapy in NYC can help you, reach out for a consultation today. As we work together, I’ll help you learn how to break out of old, rigid patterns and embrace more adaptive ways of thinking. When you reach out, we'll start with a 15-minute consultation where you can share a bit about your journey, and I’ll answer any questions you have about EMDR. Together, we can begin this journey toward greater psychological flexibility, resilience, and freedom. You deserve to experience a life where your thoughts no longer control you but serve as guides toward a fuller, more authentic existence—one where you feel empowered to navigate your experiences with curiosity, compassion, and an openness to growth.
Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call to discuss how we can work together to build the resilience you need to thrive. Let's embark on a path toward greater self-respect, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of community together.
My specialties include LGBTQ+ Therapy NYC, EMDR Therapy NYC, Religious Trauma.
